Do I Look Manly in This? Body Positivity for Sportswomen

When I watched this video on the Women in Sport Facebook page, I couldn't believe what I was listening to. Although I was also recently shocked to learn in this Instagram post that the amazing England Red Roses Rugby player, Sarah Bern, shared how she has struggled with negative self-talk and feeling too unattractively masculine instead of petite and feminine and therefore attractive in the way a woman should be, according to society. For instance, wondering before she posts on social media: "Do I look too broad?" "Do my arms look too manly?" 

This pressure to look pretty and feminine while exercising and playing tennis, as well as this negative self-talk and bodily self-image as a muscular sportswoman all passed me by, thankfully! I've always played sports, especially tennis, but I don't remember anyone, coaches or peer group, telling me how I should look or behave. Not that I would have taken any notice if they had.

It's almost the equivalent of women asking: Does my posterior look big in this? Why? Are you wearing a massive bustle at the back of your dress, such as this one below??

Los Angeles County Museum of Art
Released into the public domain 

No? Well, she didn't mind having a big behind, in England, circa 1885. So who cares! Social norms about what is and isn't feminine constantly change over time, so it's all very subjective and meaningless. A big behind used to be an asset! And as far as I'm concerned, it still is, as long as it's your muscular glutes, not just some padded underwear! 

Likewise: Do I look too manly? Not for me, love. Us lesbians like a bit of manliness in a woman. So what's Sarah Bern worried about? As an out Rugby player 🏳️‍🌈, she doesn't have to worry about heterosexual norms of attractiveness to catch the eye of a man. And indeed, she has caught the eye of a woman, her fellow Rugby player and girlfriend, Mackenzie Carson! 

Sportswomen have body image issues because it's foisted on them. The whole point of being an athlete is to be strong, muscular and fast. It makes you feel great. What's 'looking good' got to do with anything? If you look athletic, you're looking good. There's more than one way to look good. You're not going on a date, you're trying to win a match. And besides lesbians think rugby players look 'hot'. Who cares what men and heterosexuals like or think looks good. The world is geared around them far too much.

It always amazes me that people expect sportswomen to play their sport and win. But once off the pitch or tennis court they're suddenly expected to revert back to being make-up on and gown 'feminine'. That's unrealistic. Sportswomen by and large are not that type of woman. And there are many types of women. We are not a homogeneous group. But the point many are missing, is that these athletes have never stopped being feminine. They're automatically feminine because they're females. 

So who is telling them all this nonsense? 

You have to be careful that you don't fall for the trick of people trying to put you off your stride, trying to test how susceptible you are to criticism, negativity, and image problems. And how much sexism bothers you. 

Be proud of being an athlete. Be proud of being physically strong. Love your sporty body. Athletes come in all shapes and sizes. Some are slimmer, some are bulkier, and some have amazing muscles. All are good. 

Sportswomen remind us that women are not these feeble, delicate, scared creatures who shy away from anything that makes them sweat. So go on that pitch and just get those goals in. Stop worrying whether you look pretty while you're running around kicking a ball ⚽ or running away from an opponent who wants to take the ball off you and wrestle you to the ground. 🏈

And here's an interesting fun fact: My mother played unofficial 'scrum' (🤫it was rugby) during school lunch time. It was an all girls school. The teachers didn't approve of this rough contact sport which left the girls with cuts and bruises but luckily the teachers had no idea that it was rugby. They probably didn't even know what rugby was. This was a while back!! The girls were expected to be 'ladies'. 🤣 Meanwhile, they spent their lunch break wrestling each other to the ground. None of them thought it unladylike. None of them cared how they looked. They just thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

So go and enjoy yourselves whatever sport you choose to do and there's a lot of choice from winter sports to all year sports, from racquet sports to ball sports to gymnastics and everything in between.

I thought we'd left the Nazi far-right ideology behind us that brainwashes girls that they can't do this, look like this, behave like this, talk like this, want to be like this, dress like this and above all, never sweat like a man. According to Nazi ideology, girls are only fit to be wives and mothers. 🤮

Get a life. Girls can do what the bl**dy hell they wish and adults with their bigoted thinking and parents who come from the dark ages should stop negatively interfering in their kids' lives and choices. 

And this indoctrination is getting worse with all this talk of women being weaker than men, and trans women being so much better than cis women if they've gone through the magic wand of male puberty. 

Women are constantly fed negativity. Permanently told they're incapacitated because their biological body is constantly a problem from menstruation to menopause. People who talk like this and adversely affect women, especially sportswomen, are misogynistic. Ignore them. That's part of body positivity too.